Hi, hey, this post is probably going to be really really long as most of it will be just my ramblings, but I'm needing advice and reassurance from experienced poly people, as this is my first poly relationship, as well as a couple of my first successful relationships.

I started dating one of my partners almost 2 years ago now, and the other of my partners around 8 months ago. Things with both of them have been really really good and consistent, up until recently.
So almost the entire relationship, I've been happy with the 2 year long partner, we love each other to death, and we've had a very consistent and loving relationship. Even if we weren't romantically together, he and I would be literal best friends. Recently, within the last about half a year however, our sex life with each other has been through some twists and turns, with some periods of not having sex much beyond once or twice a week, and as of a month ago, barely any sex at all. I love spending time with him, being around him is just awesome, however a lot of things have coincided together to cause me to not find sexual attraction in him anymore recently.

For reference, we live together and we spend multiple hours every day together. I think this might be causing some of the distance, as a lot of the stress in my life comes from stuff happening in our apartment, so I associate the stress with him. Also, for awhile when we weren't having as much sex, he would say it makes him feel really unattractive, and obviously there's nothing wrong with him saying that, but a very abusive ex of mine who I carry a lot of trauma from would say that in a way to try and coerce me into having nonconsenting sex, so a lot of the times I try to have sex with him I'll associate it with the trauma and my mind will just blank or I'll panic. This has also made me start to question whether my love for him is romantic still or more platonic, and I expressed those concerns with him and he said we should work towards me getting therapy and then try and work on rejuvenating our sex life as a couple.
The partner I've been together with for about 8 months now and I have had some ups and downs in the past. He and I both share some of the similar mental illnesses and vices, and we've been through a lot together. We're also both extremely clingy people, and we love each other to bits. We were very slow to start dating though, as I wanted to make sure we made the best decisions and didn't rush into anything. There was a point at around the 5 month mark where he just emotionally shut down and we barely talked, and I considered leaving him, but we talked about it a lot and we bounced back better than ever. He lives around 30 minutes away, and would usually see each other around every other day, but around 3 weeks ago or so he had to move back in with his family due to a shitty rooming situation, and he's currently working full time trying to save enough up to move to an apartment closer to where I live.

Due to this, though, we can only really hang out now about twice a week, due to work and living situation. Our sex life is wonderful, couldn't be any better, and romance with him feels so natural and loving and tender, in a way I realized I haven't felt with my other partner before. I feel wanted, yearned for, cherished, and doted on in a way I haven't with anybody else in my life. Originally I thought this could just be NRE talking, but it's been 8 months of nonstop feeling this way, and we also had a rough patch and bounced back from it feeling the exact same for each other, so I'm more inclined to believe we're both just intense for each other in the exact same way.
The big problems I'm facing are the fact that the way one partner not only treats me in the bedroom but generally loves me and treats me makes me question my romantic/sexual relationship with the other. On top of that, as of a week or two ago, everything has just become uninteresting and depressing to do unless it's with him, and I find myself just counting down the days until I can see him again, or call him, or hear his voice, or receive a text from him, which would normally seem like NRE but I've felt the exact loving way I feel about him before this general depression I've hit, and also we've been together for so long I'm inclined to believe otherwise. Any advice from more experienced poly people on what my feelings might mean and what I should do about them would be wonderful and greatly appreciated. Thank you <3