My (34F) wife and I planned to have kids the entirety of our 5.5 year relationship - been married about 4 years and in 2022-2023 did FOUR DIFFERENT ROUNDS of known donor ICI trying to get me pregnant, which didn’t work, then I took a break for my career cause I had some important opportunities coming up that allowed me to receive a significant promotion and pay increase, and I did, which I’m proud of.

We were supposed to start up again this year and they recently informed me that they no longer wanted to have kids with me or with anyone ever, they just suddenly realized this about themselves recently that they didn’t want to be a parent and didn’t want to have that responsibility in life ever, and would be ending our marriage since having children is an important life goal of mine and is and always has been a non-negotiable for me (we literally discussed it on our first date). They’re younger and going through a lot of mental health stuff right now and I have BEGGED them to stay and reconsider but they seem very determined to tank our marriage and move on with their life.

I’m obviously devastated (this is my second marriage, I was married to a cis man when I was very young but got divorced when I came out as a lesbian) but at this point since I’m this old I’m going to start pursuing it as a solo parent by choice. Very sweetly, I spoke to our donor (not anyone’s family member) and he is still willing to donate to just me. But I’m so sad and fearful because this isn’t what I planned. To be clear I can afford it and have a very good support system (not family, they disowned me years ago but good friends) so I’m not afraid of the practicalities. It’s just so sad since this isn’t what I wanted

Any other queer solo parents by choice here?? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories