Last week, my boyfriend’s brother-in-law died in a gruesome car accident. He was 25 years old. They believe he fell asleep while driving, because he was wearing a seatbelt and his toxicology report was clean. He ran off the road and hit an illegally parked semi on the side of the highway.

I already have PTSD related to past experiences, but I feel like this event has given me a whole new wave of anxiety. I fear driving, I fear letting my boyfriend drive alone, every time my family goes out I fixate on the possibility that they may never come back until they get home. I’ve never lost someone close to me in an accident like this, and never so suddenly or violently.

I haven’t been able to sleep through the night. I have nightmares constantly and wake up in a panic, checking my loved one’s locations to make sure they are home safe. I don’t know how to cope. Usually I am able to tell myself ‘you know this is irrational, there is no point in dwelling on it.’ But since this happened, it feels so much more real. I should also add that I do have a therapist, but the anxiety is the worst at night when I’m alone and can’t talk about it.

I’m sorry this is so long. Any advice is appreciated.