I have PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, and Psychosis. Straight up; I'm totally over it. I'm done. I don't want to do the years of trauma therapy it'll take me to get "better."

I've tried 19 meds and 3 therapists in the past 4 years. We finally found something that works well enough but not totally. Everyone says the only way through is therapy and meds. But I don't think therapy is working and I don't want to be on meds.

I feel stuck. I hate where I'm at currently, but I'm not really willing to do all the work that goes into getting "better." I don't know how to make myself want to do the work. I just get so angry because the trauma that triggered all the mental illness wasn't my fault. Not my fault, not my problem. But it actually IS my problem to carry around and deal with, and that makes me so angry.