How do you tell the difference?

After years of diagnosis from rapid cycling bipolar to depression to anxiety to ADHD, multiple therapists and an inpatient visit- and finally a full neuropsychological evaluation: I have been diagnosed with PTSD and everything makes sense.

I can see all my triggers now for what they are.

But I am starting to wonder in my relationship if we are truly not working or I am giving into my triggers, disassociating and pulling away. I only think negative things about him and I go back and forth multiple times a day trying to convince myself why I am with him. When it comes to us breaking up which we've been talking about because I am starting arguments and not happy enough with him.. my heart hurts so bad. I want it to work. But it's like I've convinced myself it won't. And I don't know if I really believe that or if it's because I'm scared to be hurt.

I hope this makes sense to someone.