TW: Abduction, Physical abuse, Mature subject matters, etc

I [F20] have just recently moved in with my bf [M28] and he has very very frequent PTSD episodes that pretty much lasts almost all day… To give a little bit of background info I’ll explain what his PTSD is from and what his episodes have been lately, and how we’ve been coping with them..

His PTSD stems from childhood which he has explained to me that it’s from him witnessing his uncle physically abusing his mother a majority of his childhood. But I feel like his recent episodes are majorly from the most recent trauma which has happened in his early 20s to mid 20s. He was kidnapped and tortured, his kidnapper hid in his closet and came out at him while he was sleeping and he’s had a couple other occurrences of people sneaking into his house with intentions to harm him.

Because of those events he has PTSD episodes which consist of him thinking there’s someone in the closet, nothing can be hanging in there and he has to check it at least 10 times and dig through everything until he’s sure there’s no one there. He consistently stares at the closet and occasionally shines light at it if we’re in the dark. He is genuinely terrified and nothing I say consoles him because he’s worried that if he lets his guard down that it’ll happen again. The doors and windows have to be locked at all times and he’s constantly listening for footsteps or any other noise to confirm there’s someone in the house. He doesn’t feel safe anywhere in the house other than our bedroom but even then he’s still staring either at the closet or at the bedroom door and is noticeably on alert.

To cope with this we’ve been having an immense amount of sex, I’m not complaining but it seems unhealthy because immediately he’s back to being on alert afterwards. He says the sex is the only thing that seems to distract his mind enough to not think about it, but I feel like there’s healthier ways. It’s gotten to the point where he can’t even be out in the kitchen with me cause he’s worried about someone breaking into the room before he gets back in there. It’s becoming rather difficult for me to cope with it myself tbh, cause I feel like an asshole telling him there’s nothing there when he feels so absolutely certain there is. Sometimes we both get rather frustrated when he’s having an episode. I just want to help him feel safe in a more healthy/positive way, if you have any suggestions that would be greatly appreciated.