I’ve been mentally exhausted for years which is creating physical exhaustion & I’m scared I’m showing signs of having a breakdown. I don’t know what to do or who to talk to about this.

Background: Diagnosed with PTSD in 2019 at age 30 after a childhood with emotional abuse, undiagnosed ADHD, sexual trauma, and back to back emotionally and physically abusive romantic relationships in my 20s. My PTSD diagnosis was the first time i started to feel I was on the road to a calmer life with EMDR, consistent therapy, and mindfulness practices. Then a few months later in 2020, I found myself dealing with the same calamity everyone else did, and in that isolating and confusing space ended up in yet another abusive relationship. This one somehow worse than the others. In 2022, I was finally able to leave, move, and had to readjust to a new city & career. The grief over both the relationship and other losses was intense. I also went through medical procedures throughout last year that took a lot of my time and energy, and have left me feeling further depleted.

Throughout all of this, on the surface, I have generally managed to maintain financial stability and some level of career success. I have good friends, a therapist, and loving family. I am in decent physical shape.

On the inside however, I am constantly overwhelmed. Basic tasks take a ton out of me. I am incredibly disorganized and lose track of parking tickets, auto registration, and other basic adult responsibilities. The more I succeed at work, the more my personal care completely slides out the window. I haven’t worked out consistently in years. Dating has been difficult. It’s as if I only have the energy to pay attention to one facet of my life as an adult. I am physically exhausted and have repeatedly had colds and viruses. I swear my face has aged dramatically the last two years.

All of this feels unsustainable. I fantasize about taking some sort of work leave and going into an in patient treatment facility. Or quitting my job, moving again, and working part time at some sort of low responsibility gig until I feel more rested. My financial situation would prob not allow for the latter.

I guess I am venting but also- looking for advice on whether this sounds like I am setting myself up for a breakdown, whether I should genuinely explore an inpatient option, or if there’s other treatments to explore. Neurofeedback therapy, cereset, & stellate ganglion block are all on my radar.