I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, adhd, and pmdd for years.

When I was growing up, from 8 through 18, I was forced to massage my stepdad for hours on end. I remember having kids shows playing when my sibling was home. When my sibling wasn’t home, action or adult rated type movies (not sexual), would be on. I’m wondering if watching any of those shows in a controlled, safe environment could be healing?

I’ve been struggling the last few weeks with triggers and ideation and dissociation. Honestly I’ve been struggling for years. I’m a mom, my kids are ages I was during the height of my abuse. But I’ve been struggling particularly hard these last few weeks.

I go to therapy. It seemed I was doing better so therapy has been less and less. My therapist would schedule the appointment himself. But he didn’t last time. Bc I’ve been struggling so much, i called today to schedule an appointment but I can’t get in til mid august. I don’t think I can make it that long, so I considered the online mental health chat. But instead looked for videos and articles that reminded me to move in small steps today. So I have finally showered and changed my clothes and ate.

Anyway, what are your thoughts?