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Feeling like nothing I do matters.... maybe it is time to end my life... I can't figure a way out of this hell
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I feel super depressed. Well I'm always depressed and I can't figure a way out of this hell. Like I can't deal with the panic attacks , the paranoia, the despair and the depression. I'm CONSTANTLY suicidal and I can't figure a way out of this hell I'm going through. I constantly feel insane or like I'm on the verge of doing something bad. And now the bus I take to work is going over a bridge and it's super hard to not want to get off and jump into the river.

I hate myself so very much.... maybe I should just cut to let off some steam... I don't know.. my life doesn't have purpose. I live just to survive another day.. nothing I do matters. Nothing.

Day 90 on 10mg... maybe my doctor is right maybe I do need to take 20mg ?

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Posted
7 months ago