If I could be anything for one day I'd be the Cookie Monster. Not because of the cookies, I can get those now if I wanted, but I want to get my picture taken for my CIA big-person badge as this big blue googly eyed oaf. I'd switch back after and it would be a fun novelty item.

(Also, the CIA makes badges for their agents, right? Obviously, not for the undercover spooks overthrowing third world countries for oil, but the suits who dick about at the Pentagon, they gotta have some form of ID on them, yea?)

Speaking of ID's, I've been chatting with this conspiracy theorist for a couple days now, thanks to the Crazy Intelligent Aliens manipulating me to post my basic story to r/conspiracy, which has resulted in a hoard of crazy people sorting through every shitpost I ever wrote like rabid wolverines pouncing on a still breathing turducken feast. Regardless of that, this guy brought up the topic of uh…ah shit I forgot exactly what he called them…shows you how much I pay attention after staying up for two nights straight…

Oh fiddle sticks, my brain done goofed. But, that doesn't matter, because I remember he said that with the great reset there's apparently these new digital ID's that supposedly will usher in a social credit system, and a global centralized bank, and the boogie man will eat all your toes. Yea, I know, it sounds fucking awful, and this is just the first I'm hearing about this? You guys let me down. You're supposed to keep me informed about this stuff, and I keep you up to date on what the squirrels are doing out my window. Quid pro quo!

…they're munching on peanut chips, if you must know. But, obviously I'm kidding. For someone as ass-deep in this CIA horsecocky, I sure don't pay much attention to the mainstream conspiracy theory forums. I just know that if I can be dead center in the crosshairs of the spooks for seven years, and still not know one concrete detail about them that they did not tell me themselves, what fucking hope do I have of figuring out what the free masons are planning on doing once Jacob Rothschild kicks the bucket? Or whether we went to the moon or not? Or why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Like, if there's one God damn thing I've learned writing propaganda for the glowies, it's how easy it is to hide something. Step one: don't try and hide it. Step two: surround it with as much bullshit as you can. Step three: get some loudmouth dumbass to proselytize the wrong truths seventy percent of the time. I'm looking at you Alex Jones. I'm still pissed off that the CIA managed to trick me into thinking I was going to be your replacement.

Actually, being real with you, propaganda and counterintelligence are really advanced topics. Nuance is so fundamentally important, because it's with nuance that you can divide the masses into easily controlled demographics. I'll explain. One thing my handlers taught me was how to put a truth, next to a half-truth, next to a lie. Now, the average run of the mill folks will read what I wrote, see the lie, and then dismiss the truth. Conversely, the average conspiracy theorist will read the same thing, see the truth, and then accept the lie. 

Why is this important? Because now you have divided the population based on what news sources they trust, and by abusing this parasitic relationship the state has with the people, you can expand that rift between what any person will believe is true by feeding them a regular diet of their preferred brand of bullshit. Repeat enough times with enough demographics, and you got a country that is functional as far as agreeing on the rudimentary basics, but can't agree on anything slightly more complex than that because no one can smell the shit on their own knees. 

Oh man, shit got intense there for a second. I almost forgot I'm just a mentally deranged woman who has no insight on these topics because I have never written propaganda for any organization of three letters. Fuck, I need to study my cover story a little more, brush up on my basic facts about me. God knows me at least. She likes me. Do I get a cookie, God? Yea! White chocolate macadamia nut! Om nom nom!