I first of all request you to not judge me, circumstances are challenging for everyone. I was never someone who thought of doing Zina or anything. Infact I was firm on a "saving it till marriage" concept. However, became addicted to pornography and through there on to Sodomic content. It would stay in the back of my mind no matter how much I read Istighfar and "Lahaula Walaquatta". Few weeks ago, I just couldn't hold it and ignorantly committed it with a stranger from one of those apps. I was feeling guilt immediately after doing it and it was like a dark shadow was cast over me. I only did it once since after that all of that looked so nauseating and disgusting to me.

Now my life has started falling apart and it's evident what's the cause of it. I've started my usual prayers/Quran/Duas but it's not been enough. Please let me know how I can do a full repentance. I've removed all of the content related to that. Soon I'll delete this account too. I do Dua and Istighfar multiple times a day from my heart asking for forgiveness. I've permanently forbidden to ever do anything like this again no matter what happens. I'm currently not financially independent but as soon as I am I'll openly start looking for a girl for Nikkah. Rather become Halal quickly than wait and keep doing Haram.

*I'm posting this from my throwaway, it's ironic how I'm seeking repentance through the account I made for sin. What I used to say is recorded here just like it'll be on Qayamah and I can't escape it, but I request you to please not be harsh, I'm still young and immature and there's lots of things I have yet to learn.