First and foremost, please reach out in the DMs for any thoughtful support or advice. I need it.

I have been battling this addiction for at least 15 years (I’m 30). I have lost somewhere between 100-200k but at this point I’ve lost count. I know I’m in a position to get out of the credit card debt I’m in roughly 50k.

I have my whole life been obsessed with financial freedom and I believe this is the cause that has dragged me into gambling. Gambling gives me a sense of freedom in the sense that if I win and I have a big week - I didn’t work for it and don’t feel guilty buying anything I want. The funny thing is - at this point I’d just be winning back my hard earned money.

I have a good job, I have a house, I have a girlfriend - I am comfortable in life with the exception of my debt and this addiction.

I want it to end, I’ve tried for it to end multiple times. Last week I won 7k and I lost 4 of it today.

I’ve self excluded before this however I have a bookie (sports gambling) who I’ve told multiple times don’t let me open an account. However, I am not blaming him - I know this is on me.

I’ve gone to GA, I’ve done a gambling therapist and here I am again at Day 0. I’ve quit for 100 days in the past - that’s been my biggest success.

I’m very active, I enjoy endurance sports, I love my girlfriend and my family (family lives in a different state and I don’t see them much).

I haven’t had much success in GA because a lot of the people I feel like I don’t relate to - in the sense they’re not 30 years old with a good job. I am sure there are some - I just haven’t found any.

I’m up for a 10k bonus in June based on performance and it sure looks like we are going to hit it. My plan is just to continue to pay down my debt. I live frugally (lol considering I’d put 500-1k on a sports game) and typically have excess cash flow each month that goes towards paying down my debt. I’ve paid down a significant amount in the past.

Any advice would be appreciated and please feel free to reach out on the DMs.

I am not willing to ask for credit card forgiveness. I WILL get out of this. I’m vulnerable and understand I need help.

Due to my position at work - this is not really something I can tell close friends or etc.