I posted in this forum back in late February because I am a recovering fentanyl addict who couldn’t get clean even though I am facing 3 years if I violate. I am a 22 year old male from Albuquerque New Mexico who has been on parole since being released from prison in October of 2023. As soon as I got out I couldn’t get clean to save my life and overdosed and almost died and that kept me clean until February of this year when I got my own place and started using again and my PO found out because of a dirty UA for fentanyl and agreed to let me go to rehab and I went from March 8th until April 13th. As soon as I got out of rehab I started using again and tried to take my life from an intentional overdose because I felt as if I’m not strong enough to beat the odds. He agreed to let me go to a 90 day rehab that focused on substance use and behavioral health. I went May 1st snd after 26 days in there I got kicked out for fighting and was shot and almost killed 2 days after I got kicked out. I am just so grateful for my PO because he could of sent me back to prison so many times already and he has given me chance after chance and I don’t even know why because I don’t even believe or trust in myself. I just had to get this off my chest because I don’t really believe in myself and that I can beat the odds because I’m a 22 year old male who is still an active gang member who lost both parents to opiates as well and already convicted felon. I guess I may do have a little hope because after everything I’m happy to say I have 45 days clean which has been the longest stretch clean unincarcerated since I was 11 years old if anyone knows about Albuquerque New Mexico knows that trying to get clean on your own in this city is rough I just hope for the best.💪😴