A friend this weekend reminded me of a story I told her a few years ago after a St. Patrick's Day parade in her town. She heard the much, much shorter and edited version of this story, but I didn't want to skip any of the details for Reddit.

Late late in the night after the parade, around 2 AM, some friends had called it a night and some were still drinking at the bars. I opened up Grindr to see what her town was like. A 5'9", 180 lb copish looking Irish guy was "0 feet away" from me, so I figured he must be in the bar. He looked douchey in his picture, his bio said he was looking for "no recip head" and he said he was a "7 inch Irish stud." I messaged him and we quickly decided to meet.

He was a bagpipe player from a nearby town's union band, still dressed in his kilt and uniform. When he saw me walking towards him in the bar, he told his friends he was going out to smoke. He motioned me to follow him outside, where I lead him to my car a block away in the cold.

I turned on the heat in the car and he started sloppily kissing me, and my small 4.5" boner was getting excited. I asked if he would go down on me, and he said no, "I've been blowing pipes all day." I lifted his kilt and what I saw just looked awful- he had marched all day, so he had a sweaty stink to him, (his socks were the worst, I actually had to open a window), he was covered in patchy hair, had red raw inner thighs from walking around all day, and his entire package was simply tiny. His balls were up and tight from the cold, but incredibly small, and his soft cut penis stuck out without any hang, roughly the size of a grape. I loved the sight of this "7 inch stud" and felt my own little boner pressing hard against my jeans.

He was either too drunk to notice my reaction to his little smelly dick, or just didn't care. I cupped my hand around his entire package and pressed my fingers on his taint, and he got hard in an instant. Knowing how my own penis feels, there was no way this guy was 7 inches, since he was smaller than me, and way thinner. To tease him, I said "wow, seven inches" in a subtly sarcastic tone, and he said "I think it's time you get to sucking it."

I held my breath as I kissed the little head, and slowly took his tiny dick in my mouth down to the base and held it still for about three seconds. I felt him tighten up, buck his hips, and mutter "oh wow, oh yeah" as he came, 5 seconds into his blowjob. After he finished cumming, he quickly said "uh, I gotta get back," and left me in my car with a mouthful of his premature cum.

I was so turned on by this experience, I told my friend, and we look for him marching every year, but good band never came back.