Has anyone here gotten an abortion? Knowing it’s the best possible decision for the baby, but having wished you could keep it anyway? How did you find peace after the fact?? How did you deal?

Got pregnant with my now-ex, we had every plan to have the baby, but he showed me that he lacks the maturity to handle this situation. Not only that, but he lied about his financial situation. He also turned out to be a highly toxic, manipulative and disrespectful individual…and turns out his mom is too. He also has been providing no financial support. I broke up with him, and he has been begging me to get an abortion or the alternative is that he makes my life miserable and will fight me to try to keep the baby. He lives in another country and I honestly don’t doubt that he’d try to keep/kidnap the baby first chance he got. He became extremely emotionally and verbally abusive too. It’s not a safe situation, and I can’t trust my baby around him or his family. But also can’t trust that a custody agreement would go how I would want it to because I don’t know international family laws well enough to know how that usually goes. I absolutely KNOW that this is the best possible situation for the baby, because otherwise he’ll be brought into an unstable life, toxic family on his side, nasty custody battle, and so much more.

Despite knowing it’s the right decision (and please no judgment), I can’t help but feel absolutely gutted by this. I can’t fathom mustering up the strength to go through with it, and I can’t fathom being okay after doing it. Anyone ever been in a situation where you wanted the baby but knew aborting was the best path forward, and how did you heal?