Very much hopless and feel like complete failure. Poverty is and continues to prove to over take my daily live and control certain decisions. I am 32. I have tried. Over and over and over and over and over again.

Come to find out I also grew into several, severe; comorbid (Co-existing) mental health conditions. I do have doctors and meds. Doctors say they believe I am doing everything I can. I struggle w that. ( Etc.)

I have a real hard time reaching out or asking for help, guidance or assistance. these last 2-3 years have been so hard.... I'm trying not to bore or digress here

x-o

I have had many hard pills to swallow, many many unexpected hardships and many other situations that added to my current state of mental degradation.

I filed ch 13 bankruptcy at 23 years old :( There aren't many that can relate there. Family - Can not help. No friends. Single gay male ( that alone has caused some '?s' for me due to subjective responses received) ... Worm hole of BS now. I DID pay off completely... My Bankruptcy attorney really F'd me :[

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I can't even anymore if I want to breath throughout a day.

... this far in to typing this i am dizzy and numb x-[

Never been easy for me to talk about me or my issues. Unless specifically asked about, I am an open book. Have not been in a long term relationship since high school (32 atm) And for whatever reason online dating is all fun and exciting ... until someone wants to meet. Then I shut down, withdraw and have "silent anxiety attacks"

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oh boy I could go on. But typing this out is a little helpful but I'm more than hopeless lost in the abyss below rock bottom.

However, somehow I stay positive-ish. At least enough to not sleep all day.

I did apply for SS in Nov.

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But,

Can anyone provide valuable feedback or any other guidance or input that may help me with getting ahead and out of poverty??? :/

Combined type ADHD is just one major chronic issue so please bare w/ me and I only hope this Reddit novel makes sense! D:

PLEASE DO NOT SUGGEST:

-surveys.

-school (I would 100% fail at this current rate)

-Transcription/Captioning. ( Tried it/ did it)

In the very least, thanks for reading! :]