My story: I've been working on getting my financial health rectified for a while now. It's my third priority with only helping my family and fixing my health above it, at this point. I'm 5 years into living rent-free with my Dad, keeping his house and helping with his 13-year-old. Five years sharing a bed and room with a now seven-year-old girl. it's past time we moved out. I got on the waitlist for some quality affordable housing, saved up the total deposit and first-last months rent and set about reducing debt to have lower monthly payments once we move.

Of course, the other shoe has to drop, My car dies and needs a $3k part. The car is worth less than $500 and already in need of other major maintenance. I took 2 days off of work, put a thousand dollars down and got a car slightly bigger than a hamster cage that accelerates slower than a ten-speed bike with no significant scheduled maintenance for a good year or two all so I could get the mpg I need for my commute to not cost me half my paycheck. I did my research and bargained my way to a payment that lets me save up the $1k again in about 2 months, if I reduce the extra I'm paying on my debt. I'll basically be back to where I was again in two months, right when I will be moving.

Technically I'm not behind, but holy fuck do I feel spread thin and stressed and generally like I just ran a marathon through a shit trench. Dealing with scummy car dealers, doing mad research on vehicles, spending hours crunching numbers and figuring out options, missing work I can't afford to miss, everything is just piling up.

Then this evening I wake up to get ready for my graveyard shift, and my Dad tells me my little one broke my laptop. She twisted the power cable in such a way that the connector broke loose and twisted, cracking the case hard enough to break the fan drop the connector into the guts of the laptop.

I didn't cry when my car broke. I didn't cry when I signed over that thousand bucks I bled and sweat for. I didn't cry when I signed on the dotted line for that loan. However, I bawled when I found out I lost my laptop. I nearly threw up, from crying so hard. I still feel sick to my stomach thinking about it hours later. When I texted a friend and told them, after getting to work, I nearly had a panic attack explaining the situation.

I'm not awake during the day. I don't get to the library, I don't get to watch regular tv, my laptop is basically my sole source of entertainment/relaxation/etc. and possibly vitamin D since I don't get sunlight. I play rimworld to stay awake during my shift, I use a complicated excel spreadsheet for my budgeting, use the kindle chrome app to read books from the library. Work is now my only access to computer/internet. A new one isn't an option. It would set me back a month or two and I'd lose my spot on the waitlist. It's stupid, utterly incomprehensible that this is what caused me to snap. I feel dumber than a box of rocks but there you have it. It's not that major financial hurdles and crisis that get to you in the end; it's the small stuff.