All three of those things all have affected me for the past 20 years of my life, ever since I was a little kid. I always try to seek validation from others because I've always been self critical, all I want is someone to tell me I'm doing fine every day. I dont like that I'm short, nor do I like my hair, I also hate that my interests literally interest nobody else in my circle, they never did. I'm desperate for a girlfriend because I want the validation that I'm attractive and enough to care about. I'm envious of my family because they are all successful in life, relationships, and just have luck, except for me. Because of all of this I feel worthless. I'm addicted to weed and porn because I feel like my life has 0 positives. Got into dating because I was lonely and started hooking up but it didnt fill the void.

Where did these feelings come from and how can I improve. I'm trying to quit porn and slowing down on my weed consumption, I go to the gym regularily and ride my bike. I dont know what to do.