I'm not sure if this belongs in this sub but I wanted to get it off my chest. Sometimes I get moments where I feel incredibly lonely and desperate for intimacy that I look up an escort service online, which eventually lead me to nowhere. I just end up freezing my cashapp accts, my amazon, and getting stupid gift cards for these "girls" who tell me one more payment will get me to sleep with them. I've been going to therapy to work on my confidence and understand where my addiction comes from, but fuck it is so hard sometimes. I just want a real connection with someone and I feel so embarrassed that I have to pay for sex, because no girls want to hook up with me. I know all of it is connected to my relationship with porn and I'm working so hard to be better. I hope this post makes me more committed in the future.