I've tried to stop watching porn about 5 times now and I usually fail after 2 week - 1 month. I live with my five and I have 4 children so I don't usually fail in normal everyday life. But what happens when my wife and kinds go to granny's house and I stay at home because I have to go to work, then I fail miserably. My wifes work is such that she has free days on week sometimes. On those couple of days that I'm by myself I just watch porn and beat the meat. The amount is ridiculous. I can keep watching for 2-5 hours. On normal week I might jerk it at work because it's not possible at home.

I think a relapse happens because I don't have anything to do. Normal life when wife and kids are home, I have so little time for my self that read or listen podcast or play game or watch youtube. But when I have so much time alone I don't know what to do with it.

Last time my wife and kids went to grandparents I tried really hard to think what should I do. I thought about doing something couple days before they left, but i could't come up with anything. There was no game that I'd like to play, youtube won't entertain me long enough. I took 1 hour run outside, but still I have so much time that I use it to watch porn.

Is this boredom just excuse that I have in my brain? I just fill the emptiness with the joy that porn gives and afterwards I feel like such a failure. I know that I enjoy playing games when there is one to play. Like I've enjoyed playing valheim with my brother or overwatch with my cousins. Gaming has reduced a lot because we all have work and mostly weekend is the time that we can really play video games.

I just don't know what enjoyable thing I could do when I'm bored during the week.

Edit: spelling. five-> Wife