For all intents and purposes I have risen out of my poorness. I have a good income, a roof over my head, I have food, my daughter is in college and I’m newly engaged.

I’m also forever poor and it shows.

Like so many here, I come from the minimum wage working poor. I’ve always known I was going to have to work super hard for things others could easily throw away. It’s embarrassing, but I think many of you know what I’m talking about.

It sticks with me in every decision I make and It’s apparent in how I treat people. When I come across my fellow poor, they can smell it on me. The non-poor can also smell it on me but they look at me like being poor was a social experiment I took part in.

When I was college aged I worked a full time job and had a small ll efficiency apartment. I lived a college town and on Sundays would make a big dinner and invite friends over to watch X-Files. (That was a thing back then)

Being a college town this was my first time hanging out with people from economically diverse backgrounds. I had friends that were literally homeless their entire lives and friends who went to private prep schools.

During these Sunday dinners it became VERY apparent that the rich kids were watching me prepare dinner really closely. They would ask positive questions and give me a lot of positive praise on the food and the event altogether. These were good people but I could sense they weren’t just there for my famous veggie lasagna.

One day while hanging out with my friend Sara I simply asked her about the feeling I got from some of our wealthy friends. Sara was absolutely in this wealthy demographic and was someone I trust deeply even today.

Sara told me that many of the wealthy kids like her, hadn’t ever experienced cooking meals themselves or in a group setting before. Prep schools have staff who cook. She said in prep school you ate communally but everything was laid out for you already. The food appeared by the staff and so on.

She let me know that for her at least, this was her first view into what real life was like and that the wealthy kids really enjoyed “the experience”

In short they were “slumming it”

Fast forward to a recent conversation my daughter had with me in regard to a dorm roommate. My daughter knows very well I come from “the poor” and she is very good about treating people respectfully.

Her friend is poor and my daughter wants to assist her friend without making her friend feel bad. Her friend had student loans to get herself into college but literally no other resources. Parents are poor. No car. Never goes out with them for fun events……we all know this girls situation.

This conversation with my daughter brought me back to my own realization of my poor showing in front of others. Those feelings of anger, some embarrassment and shame from long ago are still peaking out.