I’m in a four person polycule composed of overlapping vee relationships, all in our early-mid 30s. My meta is newly pregnant, and we’re all very excited about co-parenting together! We haven’t told many people yet, partly because it’s still very early in the pregnancy. I’m pretty confident my family and probably (hopefully?) my friends will be supportive, but I’m also a bit nervous. I’m already out to anyone who knows me, so the fundamental poly part has been well accepted so far.

I guess I’m feeling unsure as how to tell people about this. My thoughts so far are to say I’m going to be a co-parent, and be ready with a quick elevator speech about raising children as a larger family. Yet another dimension to this is that the bio father is someone outside of our group (2 possible people), and I’m not sure what I want to tell or not tell people about that. That person -and their role, if any- is yet to be determined. I’m leaning towards not mentioning it to people I’m not close to, and seeing how I feel with closer people. I really don’t like the idea of lying to people if they ask, but I suppose I could truthfully say that bio paternity is not certain right now and is ultimately not very important to us. Also of course it’s really no one’s business! But it’s still something I’m wondering to myself how I want to prepare for those kinds of questions.

I think what I’m feeling most worried about is whether people will recognize this as being a big deal for me/us. And I don’t mean worst case scenarios like thinking we’re immoral heathens, but more so like people will just think something like my ‘friend’ is having a baby so no big deal.

Who else has been in this situation? I don’t have one precise question here, I guess I’m just trying to see what others have experienced and how they approached it, how others reacted etc. Thank you!

Update: I told my parents! They came over for dinner last night and met the rest of the polycule for the first time (they’ve already met my direct partner multiple times). I hadn’t planned on telling them, thinking I would wait until some time I was alone with them. But I ended up feeling like the moment was right (of course I also made sure everyone else was comfortable with me doing that). I said “We have some news... ___ is pregnant, and so we’re all going to parent together!” I’m happy to say this was received well :) My parents aren’t jump-with-joy types to begin with, but they were happy and seemed not too confused about it. My dad asked about the due date, and talked a little about how he likes babies, and that was about it.