I've seen posts in other poly communities recently talking about people being discriminated against for not being "the husband" or "the wife" and now things like "not having hierarchical within marriage isn't a flex" and also "all married couples practice hierarchical poly and have veto power." Or "all poly couples are UH." No they're not 🚫. My husband and I (nesting partners also) don't UH. I have a lesbian girlfriend he's met once. And we had a former play partner that was a (trans)woman who happened to be attracted to both of us. And he's had outside dates. But telling other this isn't a flex? It's a reassureance. Also as I saw pointed out by someone else; there are privileges and things about "just dating" someone like being able to keep financial things separate or not having shared responsibilities that are just as beneficial. I didn't enter polyamory as a married person to lord some sort of privilege over others. Rant over.