I think the term "consensual non-monogamy" reinforces a monogamy as the natural default mindset.

Because the truth is, I dont need anyone's consent to practice non-monogamy. There is no one who can say to me, "I don't consent to you practicing non-monogamy" and get me to stop. If someone says to me, "I don't consent to you being non-mono" and claim a consent violation when I continue practicing non-monogamy, they are mistaken.. Because it is solely my choice and requires no one's consent. Its simply not a consent issue. Its just a choice. A choice I am free to make with input from anyone.

I agree that if two people are in a monogamous relationship, they should both agree to change their agreement to non-monogamy.

But opening a monogamous relationship is just one flavor of non-monogamy.

I start all my relationships as non-mono. I have simply never agreed to monogamy. Not once. If someone asks me for monogamy, I say no.

If I'm seeing someone, and the tell me they no longer "consent" to me being non-mono, I'll tell them I'm not going to change. Its not up to them.

Now they certainly can leave me over it. Or be unhappy about it. Its up to them how to handle this. Or I may leave them if it seems we are hopelessly not compatible or they are wallowing in misery. And, of course, people are free to not date me in the first place since I don't offer monogamy.

But I don't need anyone's consent for my choices. I don't need permission to decline to agree to something I never agreed to in the first place. I don't need anyone's consent to continue to live my life as is.

No one can revoke their consent for my non-monogamy.

They can decide that they personally don't want non-monogamy and leave me. Thats their own autonomy.