Doing a repost for all those considering a club for new years eve.

This is based mostly on how clubs in the U.S. work. Most are "on-premise" which means you can have sex in the club.

My experience in Canada is limited and none for UK. But I've been told they are pretty similar except not necessarily BYOB.

COSTS AND JOINING

It's a private club. You'll have to offer ID and fill out some forms to join. They may also take your picture and save it for your internal profile/account. Some clubs offer daily, weekly, monthly or only yearly memberships. Some clubs ask you to apply in advance. Many let you sign up on the spot. Costs will differ for single men, single women, and couples. Some clubs will require single men to be sponsored by a couple. Even when allowed to join (some clubs won't let you join at all), your costs will be higher and the number of men will be limited. You may not be able to attend on all days. For example you may be allowed to attend on Friday, but not Saturday. Very few clubs do any real vetting. Some will check your name against the sex offender register. But for the most part you join, pay, and attend.

ATTENDING AS A TRIAD OR FF or MM couple

A triad will most likely need a couple membership a single membership. Rules for single men will apply if the single membership is a male. F/F and M/M couples will be treated as two singles. There rules and culture around trans people is all over the map and will be different in NYC than in Kansas. Call ahead to speak to the club and make sure you will be treated well and feel comfortable and find out what kind of membership you will need.

BOOZE/FOOD

Almost all clubs in the U.S. are BYOB. Some will ask you to check your alcohol with a bartender who will serve you. Some let you have coolers in the club and serve yourself. Usually some kind of mixers (ice, soda, water, etc.) are provided for free. You should tip your bartender. Some are club member/volunteers working for fun and tips only. Some clubs have free food or food for sale. It varies widely.

WILL I BE "FRESH MEAT"?

It's an incredibly common fantasy of new people that they will show up and everyone in the club will know they are new, will immediately want them and proposition them for sex and will be very aware of them all night and whether they play or not. This won't happen. Even though a sex club sounds wild, it's just regular people. And people tend behave in certain and predictable ways. Here is how it will play out. You will probably get a tour from a "host couple" which is a volunteer couple who will show you around and explain the rules. They may introduce you to some people. They'll help you get a locker (you may need to bring your own lock) and help you check in your alcohol with the bartender. Then you'll be turned loose. There will be some music and a typical dance club environment. DJ, bar, dancefloor, some couches and chairs. A lot of people attend with friends they already know so many people show up in groups/play partners. Many people are also regulars so they will see people they know. Instead of everyone noticing you, wanting you, and approaching you.....you may actually be nervous and perceive things as cliquish. You'll need to give off friendly and open body language, smile and make eye contact, and introduce yourself to people.

WILL I BE IN TROUBLE IF I DON'T HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE?

No. No one can force you to have sex because you showed up (that's a crime!). No one will notice if you do or don't hook up with another couple before the night is over. No one will pay that much attention to you. People will be dancing, drinking, flirting, catching up with friends, trying to find play partners, etc. Their focus will be on themselves, their partner, their friends, and having fun. Not you. It is a common fantasy that new people are so exciting that everyone notices what they do all night with curiosity. But it's a loud and raucous club and no one is paying much attention to you at all.

WILL I HAVE TO TURN A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO WANT SEX AWAY AND HURT THEIR FEELINGS?

No.

First of all, if you are in the social area, it's rare for someone to approach directly for sex. There are exceptions*. But usually it starts with flirting and conversation. Giving off a flirty and approachable vibe is a skill. You may not get approached much at all your first time. If people start chatting you up, they are typically looking for a mutual expression of interest and mutual escalation. If they don't feel that, they probably won't ask you for anything at all. They'll chat and move on. If you are in an open play area or orgy room and having sex together, you might be more likely to get approached. Just say no thanks if not interested. In fact, if you have zero intention of having sex with anyone, it's good to mention that in casual conversation. Just mention it's your first time and you are only there to look around and make friends. That will be enough and it will save people looking for play partners exclusively from pouring a bunch of time and effort into you. Many will be happy to socialize for a bit anyway.

No one likes rejection, but people who are bold enough to ask for sex are usually experienced and thick skinned enough that it's a total non-issue. They will just move on and think nothing of it. They may forget the interaction entirely and not recognize you if they see again in the future.

DO WE HAVE TO BE MARRIED?

No. Some clubs will require you to join as a couple. No one will ask for your marriage certificate. I'm not married, nor do I even live with my partner. No one cares. People will ask general questions about how long you've been in the lifestyle or how long you've been together so if you met 2 weeks ago, it will come up. But no one will ask if you are married in my experience.

WE CAN HAVE SEX THERE?

Yes.

Some clubs allow sex only in designated play rooms. They will be a room with a bed (sheets are changed between uses). You can leave the door open for people to come in although I've NEVER seen that happen. You can close the door or you can put up a rope so people can watch, but not enter. Culture and rules vary widely at this point. In some places, you are asked to politely watch and not interrupt. In other places, people may banter with you or shout some encouragement in a more free wheeling way. I prefer the later so we go to a club like that even though there are closer clubs.

Some clubs allow sex in play rooms and also around the club (usually not on the dance floor). So you may see sex pretty much anywhere/anytime. This also varies. The universal rules are no sex in the pool or hot tub if they have one for obvious courtesy and hygiene reasons.

OTHER RULES

All clubs have a dress code and it will be on their website. It's aimed more at men than women. Typically ladies dress sexy (club wear) or in lingerie. Men are typically asked not to wear t-shirts, jeans, sweat pants or generally look slobby. You can usually get a locker and change while there. Condoms are provided, but its a good idea to bring your own. I bring condoms (latex free), comfy clothes for the drive home, flip flops for sore feet, a robe in case I don't want to put clothes back on after sex or hot tubing. I also have snacks and water for the drive home. I get THIRSTY and almost everything is closed if you depart at 2am when most clubs close.

No means no and people shouldn't follow you around or hassle you if you declined them. This is usually an issue with single men only. They will be removed if you report them.

You may not be allowed to leave and come and back in so don't leave anything in your car. You also may need to arrive prior to 11pm or midnight. They may lock the doors and stop checking people in at a certain point.

CONDOMS

Whether you use condoms with your own partner, friends, or new play partners is up to you. No one is walking around to check. I suggest bringing your own. Don't assume anything and if you want someone to wear a condom then insist on it and confirm it is on (common sense, but easy to get caught up in the moment). While there is security and rules around consent and behavior, you are responsible for saying no if you don't want something. You are responsible for articulating your boundaries and for advocating for your own safety and pleasure. If you haven't dated in awhile, this can be harder than you imagine so take things slow and watch out for each other. Try not to drink to much as well.

SWINGERS LITTLE SECRET

Almost every guy there takes Viagra or the like. Even if he doesn't struggle in private. It's a loud and distracting environment. Even men who have never failed to get an erection in their life, may find their body does not cooperate the first time. Those guys you see going at it like crazy....that's experience medication 95% of the time. So be prepared.

SINGLE WOMEN

They are allowed. There will be almost none or none on the night you go. Those who are there are often there with couples they already play with or there to meet couples they already know. Some may be there only to get in the pool or hot tub. If your only reason for attending as a couple is to find an FFM and nothing else appeals to you, it is almost surely an absolute waste of your time and money (and membership and door fees aren't cheap). I don't recommend it. Clubs are full of couples seeking mostly other couples and maybe women. There isn't a secret stash of bi women there who want threesomes even though club advertising hints at it. And the rare single lady seeking a threesome has her pick. She will often pick no one or choose experienced swingers who are open to more than FFM. Couples seeking FFM and single women are very rarely able to get any action in the club environment. There are exceptions of course, but don't expect to be the exception especially when you are brand new to the scene.

SINGLE MEN

When they are allowed, they can be poorly behaved. Their bad reputation is earned. If they are bothering you, report them to security. They are rarely in demand. Couples are usually seeking other couples or women. Some clubs ban single men from the play area and some allow them to roam free. Consider your comfort level with this when you choose your club and the night you visit.

*I have been approached with no chit chat. However, I was on a couch near the dance floor, fully nude, and riding my partners cock with serious enthusiasm while making contact with others and generally putting on quite a show. I was behaving quite boldly even for the environment (most people have sex in the private rooms even though sex is allowed everywhere in this club). So I attracted the attention of an equally bold lady who tapped me on the shoulder and asked to eat my pussy. But that is outside of the norm and I was definitely doing more than milling around with a drink looking shy.