I met a guy last spring. He’s quite a bit older than me so he has a lot of dating experience although most of his long term relationships haven’t been polyamorous. We started dating this summer and it’s my first actually serious relationship and I’m totally in love.

The thing is, he’s also been seeing another person for about the same duration that we’ve known eachother. Since breaking up with his prior girlfriend a couple of months ago my partner’s and the other person’s relationship has been getting a lot deeper. I’ve obviously noticed it, since they are spending a lot more time together but everytime I asked him he just said that they hadn’t defined their relationship, but that there are some romantic feelings. He wouldn’t give me more info even tho I tried to ask about his feeling and where the relationship is heading. Only once the three of us met up, I heard from the other party that there has even been some talks about a partnership.

This whole thing threw me in a loop since I had been inquiring for months about the relationship and I’m only getting the info now and not from my partner. Now that the info is out, I feel like everything has been progressing way too fast for my liking since I haven’t even gotten used to the fact that someone likes me and want’s to be in a relationship with me. Since I have no prior experince in polyamory I’m also not quite sure what kind of a relationship structure I prefer. I’ve been having a lot of feeling about wanting to have the label of a primary partner but that might just be because of my insecurities at the moment.

Althought I haven’t really felt the need to have another romantic partner until now, but now I’m feeling like all my needs aren’t being met and I’m doubting this whole thing. I just love my partner so much and I feel like things could have been so different and easier if I would’ve been kept up to date with everything. I’ve noticed that even my mental health has been affected with how much I’ve been thinking about this whole situation and my partner’s other relationship.