So long story short, I (26F) met my man (32M) through work and we’ve been seeing each other ever since (around 1.5 years). Early on, he asked my opinion or experience in exploring things like 3-ways with other people. I had only ever been in a monogamous relationship and never shared the fantasy of adding anyone else to the mix. I told him I had never done anything like that before, but I’m open to trying new things.

We had our first MFM 3some about a year ago and it was an incredible experience! He made it such a magical, comfortable, safe environment and I really appreciated the depths he went to make sure our first time (mine in particular) was a positive one. After that, I felt more comfortable with the idea of doing it again.

Now that was my experience with him and another guy…

He has asked me on multiple occasions if we can do FMF. I know he wants it badly, and as self-centered and bad as this sounds, it hurts my feelings. We had a girl over once and it was a pleasant experience, but I don’t think either of us were very attracted to her and didn’t feel too invested in the experience enough to have her over again. The girl ended up having STRONG feelings for me which made me feel uncomfortable because I unfortunately don’t reciprocate those feelings towards women.

The most recent thing that’s bothered me PAINFULLY involved my best friend…

She was the one who originally set us up in the first place. After him and I have had discussions of adding people, he asked about her to which I told him that she has a boyfriend and although she’s gorgeous, I’m not going to have that conversation with her. He would mention here and there that we should invite her on trips with us and have her over etc. and I just didn’t really know what to make of it, but I knew I didn’t like it.

Just a few weeks ago, my best friend and her boyfriend d broke up and she had to leave her apartment. She asked if she could come crash on our couch for a few days while she figures out living arrangements to which my man said yes of course she can stay as long as she needs to.

She stayed for two nights in a row and both nights he wanted to fuck her. And both nights..he did. With me in the bed. He asked me if he could beforehand and I regretfully said sure because I knew how badly he wanted to. It gutted me watching them have sex until they both orgasmed. I didn’t play much if any part of it. I haven’t been able to get the sound or the thought of watching it out of my head ever since and it’s terrible. I hate it so much.

I feel like I can’t even be mad because he asked permission and I gave it to him. I even briefly discussed it with her beforehand to see what her thoughts were and she said, “I mean if you’re okay with it then I’m okay with it.” I feel so fucking stupid for not just saying no. But I think it would feel worse saying no and god forbid it happened anyways..

ANNYYYWAAYYSSS

For those who have followed along this far, I appreciate you. I guess I’m questioning the authenticity of experimental relationships.. a friend of mine who’s experiencing similar feelings asked if I’ve ever felt like my man proposed this idea of fucking other people together as an opportunity to cheat without repercussions. I’m not sure and now I’ve just been feeling depressed.

I told him how I felt about him and her and he responded and handled it beautifully. He hasn’t asked about her or brought her up ever since.