Y'all, I have gotten myself into a situation.

I've been casually going out with someone a friend is actively dating.

Turns out, I like him. A lot. And I'm scared.

Their agreement is polyamory. Should be cool, right?

Except at the end of the day I want a romantically exclusive but sexually open relationship. While I'm open to polyamory, it's not my ideal. The only way I would do it is with a primary partner because I only want one romantic partner.

So, where do I go from here? I could dial my feelings back and have a fun fwb relationship with him. Or I could pursue it romantically and... get hurt? Hurt others?

I was thinking about why I don't want polyamory earlier today and had some revelations.

He and my friend have been having these chill Friday nights in and I'm so envious. That's all I want. I never got a lazy weekend in my past polyamorous relationship because my days were Thursday and Sunday. It was always up in the morning and out the door.

In my open relationship we could just linger around as long as we pleased without any other concerns.

I know a partner's time is their own to divide as they will but how would I not feel bad for taking something away from someone else (my friend) who I deeply care about?

Edit: When I say take away, I absolutely don't mean him. I'm not looking to sabotage their relationship. I'm just starting to see a routing develope and I wouldnhate to take that away in terms of time with my own desires.