Started seeing someone two months ago, things have been going well and he’s very good at communicating whenever I’ve expressed my feelings. He has been with his partner for 10 years, his partner has another serious partner and they’ve been together for a couple years too. From what I can observe, since I came into the picture, they have been struggling and now his partner is questioning if she’s even poly.

He has been trying to show up for me and reassure me things between us are good but his attitude has noticeably changed and it’s sometimes obvious he is sad/ he can’t share the same excitement I have for this new relationship while his other relationship is heavily struggling.

For context, I also have a long term partner I live with. I (maybe selfishly) feel I have been cheated out of the lovey dovey NRE fun stuff and have been struggling having to hold back my excitement a bit. For example, a couple days ago we went on a really fun date and the day after I was happy and having a good day… I expressed that to him and wanting to plan a next time to hang out and his answer lacked excitement and he expressed he had been sad all day.

I completely understand being poly means supporting partners through break ups. But it’s hard for me to willingly stay when it seems like the issues come from their relationship being one sided (operating under some assumptions here for sure), and there’s barely a foundation for our new relationship.

Please be nice, this is the first time I see myself in this situation and I’m just trying to be level-headed about it while also protecting my heart, time, and energy.

So, should I ride out whatever is happening in their relationship and accept the impact it has on my relationship with him? Or is this a good time to get out before it gets real messy?