My partner and I have been non-monogamous for a while, and most of the relationships have been on the casual side. Might be long term, but still pretty casual (mostly sex & fun focused) and in some way involve all of us. They've been seeing this one person for a while now though, and it's developed into a real & serious relationship.

While we always said we were open to whatever comes, I don't think we really adequately discussed what that would look like or how it would function. We have basically found ourselves in a polyamorous relationship now, and the request is that the other relationship function and flourish on it's own now vs as a part of ours.

In terms of changes, privacy is super important to them now in a way it wasn't before, so they no longer want to discuss their sexual relationship or engage in any group sex or sex in a shared household. They also want to negotiate more time with this partner as well as removing some other boundaries we had.

I've read a lot about this and it seems very common in poly relationships, but I think that I am struggling not with the fact of it but more the delta between where we just were to where they want to go.

I know it's not for everyone but I enjoyed being involved and hearing about the exploits and things and now that fun is over.

Any advice or thoughts would be helpful.