How Do I Approach a Serious Relationship Conversation Without Overwhelming Him? Feeling Anxious About Pulling Back

I’ve been dating someone for about a month and a half, and while I’ve enjoyed our time together, I’m feeling a lot of anxiety about the direction of the relationship. We see each other every week and a half to two weeks, and I feel like I’m bringing more energy to the relationship than he is. Recently, I’ve found myself wanting to pull back and not initiate as much because of this anxiety, but I’m not sure if that’s the right move.

I’ve realized that there are several things I don’t know about him, and that uncertainty is adding to my anxiety:

• Why does he actually like me? He compliments my looks and listens when I’m emotional, but I don’t feel like I know why he wants me in his life. I also don’t know if I’m coming across as “too much” because I’ve been initiating most of our communication.

• What type of polyamory does he practice? We haven’t discussed whether his approach is hierarchical or non-hierarchical, and I’m unsure how he structures his relationships or where I fit into his life.

• What are his needs and love languages? I’ve shared some of my emotional needs, but I don’t feel like I have a good understanding of what his needs are or how he wants to be cared for.

• How does he feel about where we’re going? He’s mentioned that he’s not sure we’re 100% compatible but wants to try. This has left me feeling unsure about where things are heading and afraid to ask for more clarity or express my own needs, especially since we’ve already had some serious talks.

I’ve also been feeling hurt that I’m often the one pushing for plans, and he doesn’t seem to initiate much. We had a date canceled recently, and it wasn’t rescheduled, which made me feel like his hobbies and other commitments came first. I’m starting to question whether I’m asking for too much, and I’m afraid that bringing this up might lead to him deciding we’re not compatible.

I want to know how to approach these topics without overwhelming him or making him feel pressured. I feel like I need clarity about why he likes me, what his expectations are, and what kind of connection he wants. But I’m also hesitant to ask because I’m afraid it might push him away.

My questions:

• How do I have a conversation about all of this before our next date (in about a week) without overwhelming him?

• Should I pull back and give him space to reach out more, or will that create more distance between us?

• How do I ask for clarity and understanding of his needs and our future without making him feel like I’m expecting too much, too soon?

Any advice on how to navigate this conversation and manage my anxiety would be so appreciated!