I’ve been dating in a polyamorous way for about 2 years now after being in back to back monogamous relationships for about 12 years. Poly has really helped me get over some insecurities related to my worth as a partner and really has helped me see love and relationships in such a different way.

That said, I do want a partner to do life with. And I have previously said I was open to monogamy for the right person.

But…I think I may have found that right person and I’m not sure if I can go back to monogamy.

Maybe it’s just the NRE but I met someone about 2 months ago and I am just…falling so hard. He knew I was poly but I don’t think he really knew what that meant beyond a very basic understanding. Yeah, I messed up and should have talked about it more openly. But the connection was so instant and we had so much else to talk about. And I wasn’t even sure if I would want to be poly anymore.

So after about 2 months and seeing each other at least twice a week for awhile and a couple sleepovers we sort of ended up in a talk about the relationship. In the one hand it’s early still but on the other hand the feelings are so strong and we just seem to fit into each others lives so well.

This led to more discussion of poly and I’m not sure if this is just a phase for me or if it’s just part of who I am now and can I go back to monogamy. After me explaining a bit more about my views and experiences with poly he said it’s not something he can see himself doing.

So…where does that leave us? We are going to try and keep things casual but I do feel like that can only last so long. Assuming we continue to feel this way, there is going to be a desire to get more serious. Which means monogamy.

I’m scared of being unhappy in monogamy. But I’m also scared of losing out on this amazing person. I’m really torn.