I have a partner who is new to poly. We are reading together, scheduling dates, discussing…etc.

When I have a new possible and/ or a scheduled date my partner can experience significant abandonment insecurities. Yesterday I told her I had a date, told her the time and that I would give her a call on my way back after the date.

The date ended up going well and took 4 hours where I didn’t look at my phone. My partner was upset and thinks I should have told them in advance how long the date would be so they were not waiting.

There are other challenges with this relationship in which they will ask a lot of specific questions about the other partner and how much I like or may like them in the future. Then they get sad or upset when I answer.

I want to be supportive but I also don’t want to feel interrogated. I am poly in large part because I want autonomy and this feels controlling.

I’m hoping to hear other’s experiences on this and if you have advice I would be grateful.

TLDR, struggling partner, how much support and what kind of support is healthy and reasonable?