Just started a new job in the same industry I’ve been in for a while. It’s shitty hours and shitty work life balance - but the OT and benefits are worth it as I don’t have a degree.

The last two weeks have been slow and I’m going to clock more than 100 hours in the pay period.

My partner on the other hand takes over around the house (most of the time) and has been living off pension and unemployment since the start of this year. With this time, he’s been focusing a lot on starting a business with me so we can one day work together and have an easier go at it. Even with his weekly efforts on the small business, he has a LOT more free time than me.

For the last 9 months I’ve been resenting the quality time he’s spending with other partners while I’m working. Whether it’s something he tells me a week in advance and puts on the calendar or a date he plans literally as I’m being called out to work during dinner time.

It’s so hard knowing that he can see and do whatever he wants any day of the week. But I have limited time with him that we generally can’t plan around. And he will often use me (when I come home at the end of a long day) as motivation to help him clean when it would be really nice to just come home and spend time with him. Or I’ll see him texting people he’s been texting all day and swiping on dating apps while I’m trying to eat dinner with him. He’ll also often schedule long activity dates with partners or friends on one of the days I sometimes actually have off.

It’s just so frustrating. He’s also using my job (and has been for years) as ammo in arguments comparing me to how shitty my job hours are. Keep in mind that he discouraged me from looking for other jobs due to my experience and opportunity in this industry.

If he were also working (like it had been before) I’d be less anxious about this. Or if I had a better work life balance then I’d not feel like I’m just a roommate. I actually had 2 months between jobs this summer and instead of doing a bunch of fun things together, he turned down the majority of my date and intimacy time suggestions when he was always saying yes to other people’s plans.

I finally had to apply for a new job since we need benefits and money. And of course, the same resentments are coming out.

I hate how I’m reacting but I can’t help but wonder if I should even be part of a poly relationship if my job is like this. My jealousy and pain get so hard to manage. Should I quit the job and try to scrape something else together with no benefits and/or worse pay? Do I need to press him to get part time work himself while he does business start up stuff?

Just a rant.