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Hi there. Still new at this. So far my poly experience has been very low stakes but pretty soon I may be in a fairly serious relationship while also being poly (apologies for not using correct terminology)
Since myself and my (potential) partner are both new to this there has been some conversation around “what does another person offer that I’m not providing?” And “am I meeting your needs?”
I think I’m doing a pretty good job unpacking the idea that I can or should be fulfilling all my partners needs and getting more comfortable with the idea that I’m not going to meet all my partner’s needs.
But sometimes it seems easier to talk about than others. Esp around sex.
The fact of the matter is that this (potential) partner and I click on many levels including attraction …but the sex piece is not quite where I want it to be. It’s good. And it has potential to be better. But I don’t know that it has potential to be great.
(Un)fortunately I have had some experiences in the past shows me how amazing great sex can be. And I don’t think I can give that up.
But when someone you care deeply for asks “am I meeting all your sexual needs?” Or “what is it that you appreciate about your relationship with so and so?”….how do you answer that? I don’t want to tell him he’s not fulfilling my sexual needs and I don’t want to tell him that so and so is just amazing in bed. Am I supposed to be able to tell my partner that? How do people do this?!
Very confused
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- 3 months ago
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