Hey all, I've been seeing someone for a few months and, while I like him, feel care and closeness with him, I don't see the relationship moving beyond a sexual friendship type of dynamic. I know he really wants a primary partner and nesting partner, and I'm solo polyam, which I've been very clear about and he says he understands. I've also told him that I'm not really looking to date seriously right now since I'm feeling satisfied with my current romantic partnerships. He's also said he gets that.

We talk a lot and most of our communication is pretty sexually charged, which works very well for me, and we have great physical chemistry. I do get the sense that he wants more from me and he's expressed developing feelings for me. I've made sure to tell him that, while I appreciate it and I like him too, I don't want to *do* anything with those feelings. I have had moments of leaning on him for emotional support, but I also feel like that's something I'd do with any friend, not necessarily a romantic partner.

Personally I feel like relationships can take many shapes and forms. I'm very comfortable with friendships that are sexual and romantic, but not necessarily "partnerships." For me, I define a partner as someone I connect deeply with on many levels--mental, emotional, physical, and practical (like lifestyle, etc)--and whom I want a deep, involved connection with, that doesn't necessarily include classic markers of escalation (tho I'm not 100% opposed depending on circumstances). I just don't feel like he and I have that depth of connection that I'd want in a partner... but how do you tell someone that without being a jerk?

I care for this person and respect them, appreciate the care and interest they show in me, and I want to stay friends and have fun together. How do I kindly and respectfully tell them I want to keep things where they are and not escalate or become partners?