I’m considering going without a barrier with a partner and would like help thinking through this. About me: I grew up in evangelical purity culture. I did not have sex until marriage (somehow oral didn’t count back then). I’ve been divorced for four years. I’ve been seeing my main squeeze partner for about 18 months and learned about polyamory from him. We have not actually talked about safe sex practices with other partners, but we always use a condom and I’m fine with that.

I have generally felt that using a condom for PiV is my default. I haven’t thought much about using a condom for oral, and have not done so. I had a FWB for a couple months last year and now I’m seeing someone new. No other partners. Pregnancy is not a concern as I had my tubes removed last year.

Now… my new partner would like to not use a condom. I need help thinking through the risks- I feel like I still have a lot of purity culture/southern Baptist indoctrination that sex is bad and you’ll get a terrible disease and die!! going on in my head.

How risky is it to have unprotected sex with someone who gets tested? Right now, this partner is not sexually active with anyone else. I’ve been vaccinated against HPV, it seems you can still get HSV even with a condom. Not sure about risks for HIV. The other STIs are treatable.

What say you all? Any good sources for this?