Hi all! Long time openly polyam person here, with unexpected need for advice. Please be kind and understanding, I'm looking for support and similar stories, not so much advice in that way.

Recently, my partner of 2.5 years surprised me with being more open to BOTH of us exploring this aspect of who we are. This caught me by surprise, as in the 10 years of knowing him, he's been very strictly monogamous and adverse to the idea of him being with multiple people. Needless to say, I was ECSTATIC! I am so proud of him for coming to this on his own accord.

However, it brought up feelings in me I've never had issues with before. I never really struggled with compassion or jealousy until now. In past relationships, my partner seeking other people was never a problem. This morning, seeing him on dating apps (that we agreed was an okay thing) caught me by surprise.

I am trying to get past it, and not feel so down. I'm wondering if it's the fact that I haven't experienced my partner doing this, and maybe I'm worrying about it because it's new to this specific relationship.

Please tell me your similar stories or tips/tricks! I've known and been openly polyam for 7 years and this has never happened!!