How to process feelings (together) long-distance

Hello everyone!

I currently have several partners, two living in my city while one lives in a neighbouring country and we don't get to see each other as regularly. It's possible to visit by train but connections between our cities are super long and notoriously expensive. Also we don't get a lot of vacation time from our jobs.

Basically, both of us have been polyam long before we started dating 2ish years ago. We've both always been enthusiastic about enganging in a polyamorous relationship, even though a long distance relationship (ldr) is a first for both of us. We intend to nest eventually and have long shared fantasies of living and building community together as soon as it becomes possible.

Recently they've started a new relationship which was been going very well and I'm happy for them. But I'm experiencing jealousy like I haven't before. Ive been mostly keeping it to myself and talking to my friends, local polyam community and my therapist. But it's really eating me up inside and I am hoping to receive more advice or support here.

• How do you deal with your partner having another relationship in which they can do all the things you want to do with them (cuddle, have sex, spontaneously hang out, spend everyday life together, share friend groups), but can't due to distance?

• How do you create a sense of being special in each other's lives when the majority of your contact happens through screens?

• How do you fulfil needs for physical touch, sex or hanging out all day online?

• How do you soothe each other and support each other in processing feelings when just holding each other while one of you cries isn't possible? Generally, which strategies have you found to soothe each other long-distance?

• And lastly, how have you handled fears around your partner's local partners becoming more important in their life or closer and eventually them making all those nesting plans with the person who is more available and a closer part of their life? This has really been eating me up and I don't know how to navigate this.

Thanks a lot for reading all of this! All advice or shared experiences are appreciated! Xoxo