I have 2 partners, one nesting and one that I see frequently. Without getting too specific, non NP is new(er) to poly and is solo. Conversations about couples privilege and how much support I give my relationship with my nesting partner happen with a regularity that I do not like. I’ve said as much and I’ve been told I’d have “space to work on stuff in between conversations” but something will trigger non NP and it’ll turn into a long talk that ends up triggering me, leaving me feeling like I’m not doing enough. I get that each relationship can affect the other, but my NP and I rarely if ever discuss anything regarding my non NP relationship.

How common are involved discussions about your other relationships? I want to set a harder boundary here but I also want to be able to talk things through with my non NP and make sure everyone is feeling seen and supported.