I’m new to the Poly/Open lifestyle Im with 2 amazing women called Val & Ace

After a few (sometimes awkward) convos we determined that I’m dating Val full fledged but im NOT dating Ace but we DO have a physical relationship as well and we all three go on dates together. (I adore Ace! We are like besties with benefits lol)

I am VERY happy and enjoying this new dynamic and journey.

That being said I’m human and learning new things about myself…the ONLY time I get jealous of Ace is when I think about the fact that she’s been able to be apart of Val’s life for longer than me, it’s an adjustment not being the “primary” I guess bc I fully recognize that I am NOT on equal footing as Ace maybe? Lol

They have a beautiful relationship and one of the things I love most about Val is how she loves Ace and I’ve said this to her.

Let me be clear I AM THRILLED BEING IN THIS OPEN/POLY STYLE OF DATING. It feels so natural and easy (even if it’s not perfect)

I’ve already talked to Val about my nerves about the fact that since they’re a couple and I’m “just the “addition”” there’s a chance that if this goes bad IM the one with a bigger risk of being “abandoned” which triggers anxiety bc I don’t WANT that to happen.

While I’m totally fine being in this situation and hopefully one day in the future a GF (yes we’ve had this talk as well) here’s my issue today…

Last Night, Val casually mentioned another person ,named Jane, wanting to take her on a date. I’ve KNOWN that she still goes on her dating apps and all THREE of us are open to dating others but this is the first time since we’ve started dating someone is ACTUALLY tryna take her out and it immediately made me bothered but I don’t know why…

I’m notorious for overthinking so idk I’m being sensitive but it hit differently than I thought it would knowing she’s gonna see ANOTHER person. She immediately asked me if I was sad about and I immediately said “no” and said things to reassure her bc I don’t wanna come across as a hypocrite or give her a reason to leave me for not being a good additional partner in this open relationship or make MY issues or ignorance HER problem.

NOTE: Val wants me to communicate with her. She literally said “you would talk to me if you felt a type of way, right?” And I WANT to but bc this situation is so new and as the “addition” I feel the most at risk and I don’t wanna ruin it by not being able to accurately articulate my feelings.

ANY ADVICE ON HOW TO EXPRESS THIS IN A WAY THAT ISNT FROM A PLACE OF PETTY OR HYPEREMOTIONAL?

Also I’m new to this so PLEASE feel free to educate me if I’ve said something wrong but don’t berate me.

THANK YOU!