For background, my fiancee (30) and i (30) live together with our two kids (2 and 11), and my boyfriend (35). My fiancee and i are both nonbinary. My fiancee is demi/grey sexual, and typically only has sex with me about once every 2-3months. I am hyper sexual and tend to WANT sex multiple times a day. My boyfriend, somewhere in the middle, typically wants sex about once every two days. My boyfriend and i share a room downstairs, while my fiancee and the youngest kid are on the main floor and my oldest sleeps on the 2nd floor.

Typically, i sleep two nights a week in my fiancees room and the rest of the week i sleep in my room with my boyfriend.

Recently my fiancee expressed they want to have me sleep in their room more often. During this talk they expressed that they didnt want to DO anything - no watching tv together, no sex, no hangouts - they just want me to come exist in their room while they scroll on their phone at night and then sleep in there.

Ive been trying to do that, but after two weeks i am miserable. I barely ever get sex now because im alternating days back and forth so often. My fiancee doesnt cuddle or touch because they are a very touch adverse person, but i need a lot of physical affection. Typically i get this at night fro. Cuddling with my boyfriend or from sex, but now i have significantly less.

Most of our relationship i have altered my needs to fit with what they need - i dont want them to ever feel sexual pressure from me. However, i dont think i can handle continuing to sacrifice sex from 4 times a week down to just once if im lucky because they want me to sit near them in bed. Id feel different if they wanted to hang out, cuddle, have sex, do massages, or even watch tv with me - but doing nothing near them is not worth sacrificing 3 sexual encounters a week for me.

I feel a lot of shame arpund the fact that sex is so important to me and i dont know how to express that this is just not sustainable for me. Its only been two weeks and i feel awful. Im angry and upset more often, im irritable. And i feel horribly lonely because i get so little physical affection from them.

How should i approach this?