I’m going to start by saying I’m new to poly relationships and learning.

I’ve been seeing a woman for 9 months and it was great- I was a priority to her and felt important to her. For the last couple of months, she’s being seeing a guy and the whole dynamic has changed. I no longer feel important to her. I brought it up to her and she said she was infatuated with him.

This last week, once she didn’t reply for hours and when she did it was late at night and I’d gone to sleep. Again yesterday I text her in the early afternoon and she text back really late at night with ‘night’ - no reply, no nothing. I asked if she was ok and she said something about if I knew she was asleep I would know why she wasn’t texting but she hadn’t been asleep all afternoon - I’m guessing the new guy was texted during that time (I’m just assuming this as when she’s with me on the last few occasions she still texts him). I know this is a couple of occasions but she is usually consistent in communication and this is unusual. I feel like if I was a priority or important to her she would make 2 minutes to text me at least once, even if to just say she was busy.

So I’ve told myself this, that I’m not important and I know I need to reduce my feelings for her. It’s like deep down I can’t accept it because it hurts. I’ve been trying to take my mind off of it but I find that really hard to do, I tend to hyperfixate on things or think about sad things almost like mental self harm. I’ve tried to go back into dating sites and get a new connection but it’s like my heart isn’t in it and I’m not feeling anyone. Has anyone got coping mechanisms or ways I can accept this fully??