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Posting anonymously. My (M) partner (NB) have been having some communication issues around time spent outside of our relationship. I am autistic, and I have a lot of hyperfixations around time and scheduling. Partner gets very frustrated when I get upset about sudden, unexpected changes in plans often times when I've put something together (an event) or have something planned (date night or time spent together), and they feel like I'm getting mad at them (I'm not) because I have a hard time communicating my frustration via text. I'm not really sure how to better communicate to them during moments of heightened tension that I'd rather not talk about it over text without coming across as I'm giving them the cold shoulder (which I'm pretty sure is how they're interpreting it). I try to be as precise and concise in my language as I can be, but I know that other people do not read textual material the way I do, and I don't know how better to encourage them to understand that 1 1 = 2 when it comes to my language usage.
Any advice welcome.
I can't tell of they mutually agreed plans.
You want more time from your partner than they are willing to offer. Im not sure that makes them insensitive. Partners aren't wish fulfilling genies. They are humans with their own needs and wants.
Are they keeping mutually agreed plans with you?
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Do you mean that you fallen into the habit of spending Tuesday night together so you consider that an established routine or do you mean that you each of you agreed to firm plans. Like, I'll come by your house at 7pm so we can cook tacos for dinner and watch t.v..
Or you've agreed we will spend every Tuesday night together no matter what.