So...like always, I have no idea what Im going to put as my title. Do people normally write the title first and then go for it? Committing to a title right now sounds very...committal. Honestly, Ive made my fair share of posts in the past. The ratio of posts to people I actually talk to, and then to people I actually talk to past the initial "hello" isn't great. I don't know that it is for anyone, but I guess it is what it is. I really don't want to sound too complain here. I promise I'm not that type of person. Just tonight, for some reason, I'm feeling particularly - I don't even know what. Is it lonely, depressed, numb, hopeless, empty? Maybe its all of the above. But I'm sort of in the mood to just lay it out there and see if it strikes a chord with anyone.

Before getting into anything too heavy, I should describe myself a little first. I know it seems shallow, but I'll start by describing myself physically first.

• 34
• male
• beardy
• glasses
• about 6'
• medium build
• tattoos
• maybe a piercing
• flannel
• casual
• brown shaggy hair ( think I might grow it out during the winter months?)
• Maybe its a sign of testosterone (positive spin) but I have hair..I'm not a bald baby...I'm a 34 year old man haha I should delete this bullet point but I'm gonna go for it.
• I've been described as a lumberjack who decided to quit and pursue his dreams of becoming a barista

There's the physical lowdown. I'm sure Ive forgotten some needed details, but feel free to ask. I guess nows a good time to go into a bit about me personally?

• not competitive
• laid back
• but also anxious? Its just of like a duck swimming situation. Calm above water but damn are my feet kicking...
• I'm not really into sports of anything physical. I want to say I like hiking, but I really just like the scenery more...I don't need the actual hiking part.
• I spent my high school years playing guitar and dreaming of being a touring musician. Not so much anymore.
• Ive always been quiet, shy and reserved
• I like second hand stores and flea markets
• Very 420 friendly
• If you message me, just sort of be forewarned that when we chat - I'm either going to be laying in bed or smoking weed. Its not that that's all I do, but when I do get the time to do such things, that's also when I have time to chat
• I'm married and I also have a baby
• marriage is online open, I have no issues in elaborating - if you're curious. But that accounts for the busy schedule.
• I guess I’m a stoner?

But why am I posting here? Please excuse if any of this is confusing or doesn't make any sense. I'm not even sure it makes sense to myself. I guess Im lonely? I'm always kind of lonely though. I'm a lonely sort of person...even in successful relationships I feel alone. I think its just some sort of deep seeded flaw in me. But at the same time, I'm really an introvert. Its hard to explain. But I think its getting worse as I get older. Just that empty feeling. That feeling of not really looking forward to anything, just sort of waiting for the days to end. I know it sounds like depression, and maybe it is, but this feels different. Its at this point im reading back a little and wondering if I should just delete everything I've already typed. Im a little hyper aware of sounding like a (for lack of a better term) a sad sack. I really don't want to the that type of person and I don't really think I am. I think its just the night.

I just feel lost. Im lost and I don't know what to do. Being a dad is the most fulfilling and the most draining thing I've ever done. Its weird, this is both the best and worst time of life. That might be a little dramatic but I don't know. Its like I've lost myself or I'm in the process of. Im not sure who I am anymore. I'm not the same person I was a year ago...I’ll be honest…im kind of struggling.

Who am I looking for? I'm definitely looking for someone to chat with - maybe someone in a similar situation or you are feeling this too? A sense of humor is a plus and I don't mind some well placed sarcasm. it would be cool if you are 420 friendly too, a smoking buddy would be really nice. Physically, I'm typically into plus sized women but that is in no way a hard fast rule. Just what the data shows. Wanna flirt, get high, and keep each other company? Count me in. Are you a parent and need another parent friend? Lets do it. Married but want someone to chat with? Here I am.

I work nights so my timing is kind of weird. If you’re from another country, feel free to shoot me a chat - maybe we will sync up. Plus sized Australian women to the front of the line. Is that weird to say?