long time lurker to the community taking a step out now, just as this crazy epoch needs more networks of love and support. born1982 AMAB (they/him) agnostic/pagan/satanist rereader of the Dao in numerous translations, I am anti-organized religion. I am a person stuck in a male body who has been trying to heal from the generational and personal trauma of being born a settler on turtle island (Canada) from irish, ukranian, english and other supposed ethnicities in europe. I have some triggers and am working hard at being more secure in my attachment style. I grew up reading philosophy and hating my society and myself. I wanted to be a poet, a teacher, a father, a woman, and failed at all of those because I was depressed, disconnected, dishonest, and suicidal for most of my pre-40s life. It’s time to be reborn. Now i do not know why I decided to affirm living, but i am trying. How does one live a good life? What does it mean to lead, be an ally, be a friend, to heal, to be “authentic”? How do we as people work together and create a sustainable culture? Where are the rituals and intimacies that make support and mutual aid possible? How can i make money to survive and do meaningful work? besides kindness, empathy and respect, I don’t know, but i am trying to make a meaningful life. As I go forward, i know i can not go back, i cannot do it alone, and would love some people to talk with, travel with, and share my life and body with. Hedonistic but lonely, selective and sincere, i have made mistakes, but life is, to quote a new fav show, not about fighting back, but fighting forward (Ted Lasso S3E7).

For media: I like to laugh. I like to cry. I like to be entertained! I like ideas, and music, food, and company. I like some video games and ttrpgs. I also like to snuggle, hold hands, be comfortable, and spoon . oh, sometimes i need my own space. I like nature. I am looking to remember how to dance. i want a house for all my lovers/friends and maybe a child or two i can cook and care for (lol, read that misplaced modifier right and have a good laugh or cringe). i love my garden even when it's under the freezing 204 snow, and compost all year.

hey, life is too short and has been too stressful sometimes; at this stage i don’t need a boss or a hard rigid plan, i definitely will get rid of you if you try to tell me about who i really am or how much better you are than me; I want friends and lovers, who can take it all day by day, communicate, are curious and playful, and understand we are flawed and in many cases hurt and suffer emotional sunburn cause by a late capitalistic society too interconnected by technologies and economics out of our control. I want to support/be supported in the making/comaking of space(s).