I’m a 37 year old person who is biologically/socially a man with a history of only hetero and mono relationships, but coming to realize many ways I feel non-binary inside (but I’m not ready to identify that way), and that my attraction to others is more pansexual than hetero.

My spouse (37F bi) raised the topic of polyamory last year in a way that was a bit messy and painful, and I have gone from hesitant to interested to excited in the span of 20 months. You can actually see snapshots of that story arc in my Reddit account post and comment history (I’m a bit embarrassed about my history of oversharing, but I also highly value honesty for the sake of informed consent and finding like-minded friends). Even when I was hesitant about being in a polyamorous relationship, I was intellectually supportive of poly as a valid and ethical relationship structure for people who consent to it, and am still supportive of people’s right to consensual monogamy. My spouse and I are slowly, carefully, and with love and consideration, engaging in conversations, research, and therapy towards eventually actually dating other people (independently, garden-party style). I’m at a stage where I am really craving more friendships with like-minded poly-practising people, to build more community and more of a support network, in general for my happiness, but especially because it seems like a wise thing to do before she and I actually date other people. I don’t see myself as being polyamorous as an orientation, and my desire for poly is more about “many loves” than sexual variety.

I’m a mixed-race city kid who grew up in a left-liberal bubble, and became an organic/permaculture farmer for income, healing, art, spiritual and activist motivations. I love spending time outside gardening/hiking/camping/biking/canoeing, and want to eventually do some long northern canoe trips and mountain hiking trips. I enjoy listening to podcasts and a wide variety of music, playing video games with my kids, board games, and spending quality time with my spouse and friends. I used to love to read paper books (sci fi, fantasy, history, culture, politics), but since parenthood and farming I more often opt for audiobooks, and have a habit of going down rabbit holes on the internet. I consider myself a leftist anarchist, but I’m open-minded and try to understand other perspectives including ones that feel threatening to me. I enjoy learning about history, I look at maps for fun, and I am curious about conspiracy theories and other fringe and alternative worldviews. I consider myself a spiritual person and have recently been curious about Gnosticism and paganism/wicca, and I practice some numerology in a limited context. I have a history with anxiety, depression and addiction, and am likely adhd (but not diagnosed), but engage in some good practices to help cope and heal.

At this time I’m only looking for platonic friendships, either online or in-person (I live in southern Ontario, close to Lake Erie and Lake Ontario).

If any of this sounds interesting to you, and want to chat more, feel free to message me.