Hey you – the person so deeply devoted to a discipline that it’s not possible to “date” in the generally acceptable heteromonoganormative sense. This doesn’t mean just responsibilities to a demanding career or school. This means you’ve chosen a path that means total dedication to a discipline/quest/calling. This calling has bankrupted you, broken you, shut you off and out from the generally accepted path to happiness. And still you slave upon its altar. The reward, if there is any such thing, is that on your deathbed you have no regrets that you used your days and hours and minutes and seconds to be really, REALLY good at something. You fulfilled your dharma. You lived exactly your true nature.

Yeah . . . but it gets lonely in the meantime. 

Maybe you’ve considered it’s unfair to drag someone into your quest. That you can’t really be present in a relationship in the way a partner would really want. Maybe it would be easier to just hire a sex worker to fulfill your needs in a more transparent, no-strings way. But you don’t feel good about that. You have a romantic soul, and even though you really enjoy (and miss) sex, you just don’t want to cross that line where you’re paying someone to be intimate with you. That feels more awful than just bearing your loneliness.

This is where (maybe) I come in.

Those above paragraphs describe me, too. I’m a writer, artist, athlete, and all-around polymath. My IQ is at least 133 and is probably higher (flawed early intelligence test data). I’ve got a masters degree in the arts and keep thinking about going back to school for electrical engineering. I’ve never been diagnosed with being on the spectrum, but here’s an actual sentence I thought to myself: “I’d love to start dating again, but if I do, how will I find time to learn the Shavian alphabet?” 

Here are some things I love: cultural histories of food, sashiko embroidery, the science of movie special effects, cinema history, cathode ray tubes, lost media, leopard print anything, Art Deco and LA noir (the style, not the video game), 8-bit video games pre-Super NES, pinball, comic books (Shooter-era Marvel) and graphic novels (RAW to Fantagraphics), electronic music (Theremin, Moog, and Darbyshire, not just EBM  - although I like that too), William Gibson and cyberpunk – in fact, title your DM “cyberpunk” so I know you’re actually reading this, Star Wars, Devo, comedy, conlangs, chaos magick and hoodoo, tarot, Kewpie mayo, skeuomorphs, xenofeminism, transhumanism, kung fu movies, and glowing 80s neon grids.

I’m busty, plus-sized, short, punk, femme, and heavily tattooed. My politics are general anti-authoritarian leftist – I’ve been influenced by anarchist thought but I die on no ideology’s hill. My career is in food and wine, and I work the vampire shift. I practice magick but scoff at Abrahamic monotheism. I don’t own any khaki clothing.

I love to snuggle, adore physical touch, have BDSM experience, and have some pretty significant kinks. I am currently unpartnered but reserve the right to take as many or as few lovers at a time as I desire. I keep my own counsel about who I let into my life and how I relate to them, and (as long as I am following safe sex practices), this is not up for group discussion.

You are a kind, respectful, empathetic, basically decent person. Your race, gender (at birth or otherwise), height, income, or genital morphology are totally irrelevant to me. But I have a marked presence for skinny AMABs, zaftig AFABs, and brave queers of all kinds. You’ve got to be already well-versed in consent, safe sex, and best poly and kink practices – I’m not teaching any n00bs how to be good kinksters. I would prefer another omni-, pan-, or bisexual partner, and I’d love to meet other femmes of any gender. (I won’t disqualify cishet men, but 99% of them come with baggage and entitlement I just don’t have the patience for anymore.) Nobody’s perfect, but please have your shit mostly together.

If this resonates with you, and you’re in the Baltimore area, I’d love to meet and talk about something of substance. Let’s swap backrubs or do each other’s makeup. If you play Star Wars Unlimited, all the better! Message me your favorite joke of all time and I’ll do the same.