Who I am

Hi! I usually describe myself as "bright and colorful" but I think it's more accurate to say that I use my personal appearance to radiate joy. This is me. As the title says I'm 45 but my only age requirement is that you be at least 20. I love my pink highlights and love expressing myself through fashion and makeup. I have a few hobbies, the most important of which is crochet. I love to make things and give them away. I'm currently doing something I rarely do and working on two different projects for myself. I also love playing Disney Dreamlight Valley.

My health

I get to crochet and play my video game a lot because I have a semi debilitating chronic illness. The main symptoms are non refreshing sleep and inability to recover from exertion. Basically I wake up tired every day and small tasks can wipe me out. at any given moment, it feels like I’ve been awake for at least 24 hours. It’s been like that for a few years now. I mention my illness because it’s a very big part of me and how I interact with the world. I try not to let it get to me and to see the silver lining in every day.

My relationship

I was in a 17 year long toxic relationship. It took me many years and many attempts to break free of it. Because of that I have been unable to explore polyamory until now. I'm currently engaged to my high school sweetheart. We are ethically non monogamous and prefer kitchen table style polyamory. Currently he chooses not to date but prefers that I have a boyfriend because to quote him, " I love you princess but I need backup."

What I am looking for

Because of my illness I don't leave the house now than two or three times a week. So I like to have online relationships that bring deep connection and romance into my life. Due to trauma I experienced while leaving my last relationship I am functionally demisexual. Basically anything sexual needs to happen at my pace or I can feel unsafe. When I vibe with someone and feel safe it rarely takes long for that to happen. But if I feel pushed it's usually the kiss of death. I'm very frustrated by this and wish it was different. I live in a city that is a top notch tourist destination and would love to eventually have a boyfriend visit me. But primarily I would like to keep things online. I would love to be in communication at least once a day.

The chaos in my life

I describe my life as a big pink sparkly dumpster fire spewing glitter everywhere. I think I would exceed the character limit even trying to sum it up! The most important thing is that at the end of September I lost my father. My fiancé and I have lived with my parents since May. My mother needs a lot of care that was previously provided by my father. Now all of that stress falls on me. Everything falls on me. I had thought about waiting until things calmed down to find a boyfriend but that doesn't seem to be an option!

Thanks for reading this novel and I hope to hear from you soon!