Have you ever seen a post that's a little unhinged and full of an insane man's ramblings? If not, buckle up.... 🏃💨

Hello! It is I. The insane man, previously mentioned. I'm exactly what you've been searching for. Funny. Smart. Knows how to hold a conversation. Doesn't trust the government. Has plenty of free time. Smells good. I'm the one, and you should already be swooning. 😘

First and foremost, let's get down to brass tacks. I'm 29, white, bi/pan, 6'2, bearded, glasses, tattooed, with an offensive lineman build, but I actively take care of myself, and am considered generally pretty attractive by most accounts. I'm a nerd and emo kid at heart. But I'm pretty well rounded. I'd use the term 'Alternative', but I was raised in the South, so I can fix your car or build a barn, so something closer to 'Y'allternative' is probably more appropriate. 😅 I am married, though my wife doesn't care who I talk to. Parallel poly or whatever you wanna call it.

I'm a full time stay at home dad (sahd), so that comes with a full house, but a lot of loneliness, but like, not in the pitiful/sad kinda way. I just need some adult interaction and attention. I have a lot of free time and would enjoy someone to pour myself into, while also being poured into myself.

I have a myriad of interests, including, but not limited to: tography, hiking (as long as it can facilitate said photography), video games (currently trying RDR2 again), anime, cryptids, conspiracy theories, true crime, horror movies and movies in general (I have a huge back log and just watched some of the classic horrors for the first time, with more first times coming soon), bingeing too many TV series, graphic design, homesteading, so on and so forth. Anything that can keep my ADHD-riddled brain captivated for a bit, I'll do. Including old man shit, such as sudoku and jigsaw puzzles. As I said, well rounded. 😇

I'm self-proclaimingly intelligent while being able to recognize that I'm a dumb ass, probably a little too confident, and just an all around happy, silly fella, with a penchant towards run on sentences. I can get along with most anybody, and I've found that most people seem to like me, probably due to being a people-pleaser, to a fault. I've very confident in my life.

I intend to call you cute. Make you laugh. I wanna be the long distance love interest that you wish you'd found earlier in life. I'm not afraid to catch feelings. I'm a lover, and I like making people feel loved. Contrary to some, I really like clingy/needy partners, because they crave the attention I like to give, but if that's not you, that's cool, too. 🤷‍♀️

Now onto some of the more ✨juicy✨ bits. I'm perfectly fine with a platonic relationship, I just have to be explicitly told that. I just like to include this part for everyone's sake. If you're looking for someone with a big ol' tallywacker because you don't have it at home, then look elsewhere, because I'm aggressively average. While I'm not looking for a strictly sexual relationship, I'm a very sexual person and will flirt with anyone and everyone, even a brick wall. I'm a bit of a hedonist, so I'm into whatever feels good. But that also means that I might be into some freakier stuff. No real specific kinks or fetishes, but I don't judge, I'm very switchy, and can make most things work, so don't be shy. If you have something specific that you're into, feel free to tell me, and I'll do my best to make it happen, and try not to judge. 😅

Most importantly, please be able to hold a conversation (and put some effort into your initial message, otherwise I probably won't answer). I absolutely can, but I've found that doesn't always go both ways. Similar interests will definitely help. I match energies, so if you're boring, I will be too. 🤷‍♀️ You also need to be okay with me sending you, what some might consider, too many tiktoks and songs that make me think about you, and maybe pictures of my cats, if we get that far.

I'm not incredibly picky about looks or age, hell, I'm not even that picky about gender, however at least a base level of attraction on both sides is important, so I'd prefer to trade pics early on, and then move somewhere else, once comfortable.

My sleep schedule is pretty fluid, so your location isn't a huge deal, though US tends to be easier, but I'm EST (Georgia, USA, specifically, but not Atlanta 😎), if that matters to you. With that being said, for the right person, I'll try to make it work, but being on the other side of the world can be hard to swing at times.

If I didn't scare you off, give me another chance to scare you off and shoot me a message 😂 (please don't just comment without sending a message, even if it's a DM. It doesn't always show the comments, so I wouldn't be able to respond.)